"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
