That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize