I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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