there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize