Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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