either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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