I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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