so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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