there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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