And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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