Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
