it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
