Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Even my vagina gasped.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize