I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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