I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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