I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
