Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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