is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
