so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
