it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
