when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
