well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
