I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
