I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
