Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
