some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize