i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
