just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
