he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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