And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
