buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
