We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
