I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize