I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
