im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
