Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
