she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You are the jesus of drinking
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
