i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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