i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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