White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
