do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
