you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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