walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
So much Jack, so little girl.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize