Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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