Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
