best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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