So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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