Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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