Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
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