I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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