I am midnight drunk by noon
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
