i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
