Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
