the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
God, you're like boner-b-gone
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
