is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
