Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
