You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
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