True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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