Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
