But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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