We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
She bit a glass in half.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
