you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Randomize
